A Little Reminder

I just returned from Seattle where I attended my partner’s graduation from Bastyr University, the Leadership Institute of Seattle, with a Masters in Applied Behavioral Science. Also with me watching her graduate were our son and daughter, our niece, and 3 very close friends who had been major supporters of Julia’s as she achieved this milestone. The faculty was all there, of course, as were hundreds of family and friends who were supporters of all the other graduates.

One of the speakers acknowledged the fact that this was a milestone for all of us. While it is the graduates receiving the degree, every family member and friend has a hand in that achievement. We were the ones who struggled with them, supported them, encouraged them, and laid the foundation upon which they now stand to receive their degree. And it was true – I know the group that came to watch Julia graduate often worked as hard as she did in pursuit of this goal.

This realization made me once again remember something that I all too often forget. The young men and women we work with in the foster care system, the juvenile justice system, the runaway and homeless youth system, and all those other ‘systems’ we place young people in, often are trying to achieve their milestones without the support of friends and family. Sure, those of us in the field who work with them try to provide support and encouragement, but on many levels we are unable to do so. We represent the ‘faculty’ in their journey. We are the teachers and the assessors – the ‘pass-ers’ and ‘fail-ers’. In fact, in many cases we are trying to distance them from those who serve as their friends and family, as we see many of them as ‘bad influences’.

So, my experience yesterday put another little reminder note into my head. Remember that the Youth Development Protective Factor of ‘Caring/supportive Relationships’ is not limited to the paid staff and volunteers within our programs. We can only do so much in the way of giving them the support and encouragement they need. We must also pay attention to their friends and family – for if we can’t strengthen that support system, we are sending them into the world missing a critical foundation for success.