Spare the Rod ...

Honestly, I wasn’t planning on writing another blog entry about spanking so soon, but it seems that the airwaves in my neck of the woods are inundated with the issue. First there was the controversy out of California regarding an anti-spanking law, then came the story of the McMinnville (Oregon) middle school students who have been arrested and charged with sexual abuse for engaging in behavior that included spanking, and now we have a story out of Albany (Oregon) about a father who has been arrested for spanking his teenage son.

Of course, in my opinion, ‘spanking’ is being used in its broadest possible connotation. The 13 year old was hit at least 10 times with a 16” wooded paddle. I saw the paddle on TV … it appears to be 6-8 inches wide and about an inch thick. It is well worn and wrapped in two places with duct tape, as the paddle is cracked from use. In a ball point pen on the duct tape is the inscription Board of Correction. The father was reported to the police by his other son, a 17 year old, who thought the punishment was excessive. The 13 year old had bruises and welts on his buttocks, thighs, and arms.

The twist that has hooked the media on this story is that the father is … well, a Father. He is the pastor of a local Albany church. This has resulted in lots of TV and radio interviews with his congregation who, virtually to a person, support the father. I can’t even count how many times I’ve heard the phrase spare the rod and spoil the child as they defend the father’s actions.

This is where my real problem with spanking exists; in the undefined nature of what it is and when it is appropriate. In principle, I personally am against any form of corporal punishment as a disciplinary tool. But am I going to get all bent out of shape if a parent slaps their kid on the bottom to make a point? No. I don’t support it, but there are much bigger fish to fry in the world of youth advocacy. However, is there a difference between getting a 3 year olds attention, and using corporal punishment on a 13 year old? I think so. Is there a difference between a slap on the bottom, and beating someone with a piece of wood? I definitely think so. Yet these dissimilar behaviors all are discussed in our culture under the heading of ‘spanking’.

Now, anytime religion comes into the picture one is on shaky ground, but I also object to spanking being defended with historically questionable catch phrases. You may wonder what I mean by historically questionable if you believe that the phrase spare the rod and spoil the child is from the Bible. It isn’t, at least, not in that form. The phrase is a common interpretation of several Biblical passages involving the use of a “rod” to discipline children, and has supported a belief that children will only flourish if physically punished for wrongdoing. But regardless of your belief in Biblical scripture, the fact is that the Bible has been interpreted and rewritten by man throughout the ages. A simple Internet search will reveal dozens of different wordings for the same Biblical passages. So, when I say historically questionable, I refer to the possibility that man has changed the intent of the use of a “rod”. What do I base that on? Quite simply, on what a “rod” was used for in Biblical times. A little historical research will reveal that a “rod” was a tool of a shepherd, and when used as a “rod of correction” (note the similarity to the Father’s “Board of Correction”) it was being used to guide and direct a shepherd’s flock. Is it not possible, then, that the admonishment not to spare the rod didn’t mean to beat your child, but rather to provide guidance and direction?

In any case, unless and until we can come to some societal agreement as to where the line is between spanking and abuse, and when it is appropriate to resort to corporal punishment, I’m going to have to stick with my anti-spanking position. But even once we establish this agreement, I’ll probably still advocate for the infliction of guidance and direction over the infliction of physical pain.