No Eternal Victims

Bill O’Reilly is not the problem, he is simply one example. He is, however, such a visible and vocal example that I’m going to use him to illustrate my point.

For many months Mr. O’Reilly has spearheaded a campaign from his radio and television bully pulpits to get all 50 states to pass legislation based on Jessica’s Law. For those of you who may be unfamiliar, Jessica’s Law is the name given to a 2005 Florida law, and is also sometimes used to refer to federal legislation called the Jessica Lunsford Act.

Jessica Lunsford was a 9-year-old girl who was kidnapped, raped and murdered by a previously convicted sex offender named John Couey. Couey has since been sentenced to death for the crime. The various versions of Jessica’s Law call for mandatory minimum sentences (25 years) and lifetime electronic monitoring of first-time child sex offenders.

But this post is not for-or-against Jessica’s Law, nor is it for-or-against Bill O’Reilly’s public stance on the issue. This is about the attitude that people have toward victims of certain person-on-person crimes, particularly young victims, and this is where Bill O’Reilly comes in as an example.

Far be it from me to misquote Bill O’Reilly. I certainly don’t want to end up on his show eating my words, so let me quote directly from one of his columns: “If you rape or sexually brutalize a child, that child will never fully recover”. Mr. O’Reilly has made similar statements repeatedly as he deals with issues of sexual abuse, as have many of his guests. “…our daughter is ruined for life” and “The effects of the abuse will last a lifetime for the little girl” are just two examples that I gleaned from his website.

But, as I said, this isn’t about Bill O’Reilly. I’m simply using words from his show to illustrate an attitude that many people hold. I trust that I will not be misunderstood as an advocate for any form of abuse, or an apologist, or one who minimizes -- but neither am I someone who subscribes to the belief that any form of trauma or abuse necessarily leaves people “ruined”.

This attitude seems to be applied to crimes that have a sexual element; sexual abuse, rape, prostitution -- though I have also seen it applied to domestic violence. The attitude reflects a belief that when one is victimized by a certain type of crime, they are automatically eternal victims. They can “never fully recover” and are “ruined for life”. I could not disagree more strongly.

What about our belief in human resilience? When we approach someone who has been horribly victimized with the attitude that they are now a victim forever, are we not simply imprisoning them in their victimization? While condemning those who victimize others for a moment, we should also condemn those who turn victimization into a lifetime sentence.

I don’t care how badly you have been victimized; the act was about the perpetrator, not you. You are resilient. You are not “ruined”. You can “fully recover”. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.